"Sex and the City" Shrink Talk

HBO presents

October 18, 2000

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Chewie: Do you think the relationship 'game' has changed a lot over the years, especially with the education and help out there?

Dr. Cotsen: Yes, I would imagine that it has. I think there's a lot more talk about relationships, communication, and sensitivity these days, or at least since the 70s. I also think that the baby boom generation set off a lot of changes in how men and women relate to each other, and what we all expect from each other. So in that sense, I think there are a lot of new things in the relationship game, at least, on a cultural level, even if biologically we are quite similar to our parents.

Teanah: Is it not possible to have feelings for two people at the same time?

Dr. Cotsen: Teanah, I would like to ask you what do you feel the answer to that question is, deep down in your heart? I think you know. Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking this question. I think you know that it is possible, but you feel uneasy about it. Let me reassure you there is nothing in and of itself wrong with having feelings for two people. The tricky thing is to figure out how to handle these feelings.

Angel: What do you think makes a solid, long-lasting relationship?

Dr. Cotsen: Generally, I think that the most important thing would be enjoying spending time with each other. That comes first. Secondly, I think genuinely caring about the well being and happiness of your partner. A third but necessary component is finding each other sexually satisfying. Otherwise, we're just talking about being best friends, which is, of course, not a bad thing, but I don't think that's what you're talking about here.

Senator Chewie: Do you think the show offers one-sided views of single life in the US?

Dr. Cotsen: Well, Senator, I think it does, and I hope we are not misleading our chat room friend, 'fromrussia007' with this particular representation of single life in the United States. I think this show is the story of four particular women, and although they represent four very different types of people, I don't think that "Sex And The City" tries to accurately represent single life in America on the whole. Additionally, I think the stories are told, and single life is depicted from a rather left-of-center viewpoint. But after all, that's what makes it racy, fun, and challenging.

Symmetry: Do you feel that roll playing is a good way to add variety to a monogamous relationship?

Dr. Cotsen: You know, Symmetry, I think a good roll in the hay would just spruce up any monogamous relationship! Now, if you happened to be talking about ROLE-playing, well, then, let me think about it. Sure, I think it's very much worth a try. That's, after all, what the couples therapist suggested to Charlotte and Trey. Although it didn't work for them, it certainly can be a lot of fun for the right people. So why the hay not!

Lynne: Given all that has happened this season and in the final episode, do you think Carrie has finally found emotional closure with Big?

Dr. Cotsen: It certainly looks that way, and no doubt was written that way, but Big is such a popular character to us fans of the show that you never know.

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