"Sex and the City" Shrink Talk

HBO presents

June 7, 2000

"Sex in the City" presents Dr. Ken Rosenberg who discusses, in an online interview, issues concerning sex, relationships, and dating.

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HBO: Welcome! In the "Sex and the City" season premiere, Carrie asks, "Do women just want to be rescued?" Dr. Ken Rosenberg, a New York based psychiatrist, will be leading tonight's session. Submit your questions to the shrink and share your words of wisdom, your best analyses, and your personal dramas with other fans. Join in!

Dr. Ken Rosenberg: I'd like to welcome all of you. I am not able to actually watch the chat, but will do the best I can. This is an opportunity to ask questions about sexual disorders and psychiatry, but it is not therapy.

MaryMary: Despite the fact that these four women are pretty strong-willed, what is the reason that Carrie would be so drawn to Mr. Big for so long, despite his emotional unavailability?

Dr. Rosenberg: I would say that's a great question. I'd be very curious as to what all of you think. For me as a psychiatrist, the basic question is, in fact, does Carrie want to be 'rescued?' Does she truly want to be in a committed relationship? If Carrie were my patient, those are the kinds of issues we would look at. I'd be most curious what you think about Carrie's difficulty with being involved in a relationship, despite the fact that she's beautiful and brilliant.

SexyKitty: I wanna talk about insecurity--why is it so hard to break up? And once you have, it's hard to let go of your ex and you end up going back with him.

Dr. Rosenberg: That's a question that I'm not sure is easily answered. It's very, very difficult for all of us, including Carrie, to say goodbye when we're in a committed relationship. There are many reasons people stay in relationships when they're failing, or overdue to break up. From a psychiatrist's point of view, if you're suffering from low self-esteem, it's even more difficult to say goodbye. If one suffers from anxiety or depression, leaving a relationship feels as though one is doomed to loneliness forever.

CrantiniMamma: Besides the fact that she was in love with him, Mr. Big was RICH, hello! I wouldn't want to let him go either.

Dr. Rosenberg: Well, actually Maureen Dowd had a wonderful piece called "Rescue Me Please." But as we all know, there's more to life and love than money.

Chilicat: OK, can I start things off? Dr. R., do you think the portrayal of Samantha is a bit over the top, funny as it is, or have you seen women who actually have had as many partners as she has?

Dr. Rosenberg: Great question! I have rarely seen women who have had as many partners as, particularly, Samantha. Samantha is definitely over the top, but brilliantly written and acted. And this also begs another question, which is what about sexually transmitted diseases? If Samantha is spending so much time with so many partners, she's also probably spending some time in the doctor's office being treated for sexually transmitted diseases.

Butterfly: What is the best way to get out of a relationship with a person that is controlling, but does not see themselves as such?

Dr. Rosenberg: Maybe you can give me more detail? Potentially my point of view, and of course a view shared by most psychotherapists, is that one can only be responsible for one's own behavior. It's "how can someone keep you in a relationship?"

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