"Sex and the City" Shrink Talk

HBO presents

July 19, 2000

"Sex and the City" presents Dr. Adam Cotsen, who discusses, in an online interview, issues concerning sex, relationships, and dating.

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HBO: Welcome! In the "Sex and the City" season premiere, Carrie asks: "Do women just want to be rescued?" Dr. Adam Cotsen, a Los Angeles based psychotherapist, will be leading tonight's session. Submit your questions to the shrink and share your words of wisdom, your best analyses, and your personal dramas with other fans. Join in!

Dr. Cotsen: Hello everybody! I hope you all enjoyed tonight's show. I'm curious to see what you all thought.

Locklear: Hi! The other night, I was watching "Sex and the City," and the main character was asking herself if she thought that her group of friends could be considered sluts. Do you think that their sexual behavior could be defined in that way?

Dr. Cotsen: I think that the thing that Carrie and her friends were concerned about was that they were all involved in either sexual activities or feelings that could be considered 'slutty' by someone or another. Whether it was Miranda coming down with chlamydia, or Carrie wishing that her new boyfriend would take her to bed sooner, or Samantha getting in trouble with her neighbors, or Charlotte actually being called, "You bitch, you slut." All of these behaviors or situations could conceivably be considered slutty. In terms of my own opinion, I think slutty is a word that has such negative connotations that I would save it for people who are involved with sexual activity that tends to be out of control or self-destructive. I don't think that any of the women on the show exhibit that kind of behavior, except for Samantha, at times.

Locklear: I have heard that the four characters in "Sex and the City," if they were in one personality, would make a healthy individual. What do you think about this thought?

Dr. Cotsen: Well, I suppose, it depends on whether we are thinking about combining their strengths, or whether we are thinking about combining their weaknesses. Certainly, if we combined all of their strengths, we would have someone with the high-powered career ability of Miranda, the girlish charm of Charlotte, the passion of Samantha, and the sensitivity of Carrie. All that put together sounds like a pretty healthy and appealing individual to me.

Lockness: How do you think "Sex and the City" has handled the issue of STDs?

Dr. Cotsen: Well, I think tonight's episode took a very positive step towards covering the subject of STDs. I think that the way that Miranda had gotten chlamydia from her ex-boyfriend, and then was worried about how it might affect her, and whom she would have to tell, I think that whole situation was very realistic. And it is an important part of the reality that we must keep in mind when we are dating and getting involved with people sexually.

Beffie: How realistic are the situations that Carrie and her friends get into compared to non-TV people's lives?

Dr. Cotsen: Well, one of the things that makes "Sex and The City" so refreshing as a television show is that it shows these four young women getting in situations that are very realistic, and often not covered by conventional TV shows. "Sex and The City" is very good at showing realistic, and sometimes frustrating situations, with a light heart and a real sense of humor. But then again, I do, of course, work for "Sex and The City" and HBO, so I am a big fan!

Beffie: Is there really such a thing as sex after babies? It's not necessarily that I don't want to, just I don't have time! And when I do have time, all I want to do is sleep! Any advice?

Dr. Cotsen: Although there certainly is such a thing as sex after babies, it's really quite normal for couples to have less frequent sex after a child is born. Often, either the new mother, or both parents, will feel emotionally focused on the new baby, or exhausted by the process of getting used to all the new responsibilities. In terms of advice, I would really advise that you and your husband take very good advantage of baby nap times. And you realize that as you get used to the routines of baby care, you will start to feel more like your normal, sexual self.

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