"Sex and the City" Shrink Talk

HBO presents

August 09, 2000

Dr. Perelman answers your questions about sex, relationships, and dating.

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HBO: Welcome to Shrink Talk! Did this week's episode bring up some familiar issues for you? Dr. Perelman is live, and ready to field your questions about relationships, sex, and dating.

Dr. Perelman: Again, we do have to remind everyone this webcast is not therapy, and is broadcast only for the purposes of education and entertainment. Let's have the first question!

Josh: Miranda seems very afraid of commitment. What do you think may have caused this in her?

Dr. Perelman: It's difficult to speculate without knowing the history of what may underscore Miranda's difficulty with commitment. However, there are some questions that we would want to be able to ask her to get a sense of what her own parents' relationship was like, as this has an impact on all of us in terms of what we come to expect from primary relationships. Additionally, we'd want a history of Miranda's previous relationships, to get a sense of normal childhood and adolescent social development, as well as her adult dating and sexual history. This information would help greatly in understanding her view of relationships. Of course, probably the best question we could ask would be of Miranda herself, which would be, "To what extent do you feel you fear commitment in an intimate relationship, and why?"

Songbird: I am a firm believer that communication is very important in a relationship. Do you find that people who communicate regularly have better sex lives, as well as an overall friendship?

Dr. Perelman: In general, that would tend to be the case. However, many of us think of good communication as referencing--communication where the other person not only understands what you're saying, but agrees with you. This, of course, is not necessarily the case. Sometimes good communication can result in a disharmony that adversely affects sexual interaction, or even appropriately leads to the breakup of the relationship. Furthermore, many people who can communicate very effectively with each other about a variety of issues may still find it difficult to directly express their sexual preferences. Capacity to do so in an effective verbal and/or non-verbal manner is a requirement for good and passionate sex.

Karen: What can cause what Samantha refers to as 'funky tasting spunk'?

Dr. Perelman: An amusing question! The biochemical complexity of this question certainly would exceed the focus of this web chat. However, perhaps we can shed a little light on why semen may not taste exactly like the nectar from the god. Chemicals within a man's semen will vary, depending on diet, health, and frequency of ejaculation. However, in general, semen contains protein (as many men are quick to point out), citric acids, complex sugars, sodium, and chloride. There are also trace elements of numerous other minerals and chemicals. On a college web site, when women were asked to describe semen, highest praise came for little taste whatsoever, with many, however, complaining of acidic, bitter, metallic taste, with the worst critique referencing 'a Clorox-like odor' of a distasteful salt-water. While there are no clinically-controlled studies, common folklore, according to a young female assistant in my office, recommends increasing strawberries and other sweet fruits, while simultaneously reducing coffee, alcohol, garlic, and, particularly, bitter spices. By all means, it may prove enlightening if any of you could write in your suggestions of how to positively impact the taste and smell of male semen. We look forward to receiving your responses.

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