"Sex and the City"-Shrink Talk

HBO presents

September 20, 2000

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Puzzled: When I got together with my husband, we both agreed that we didn't want children. Now he wants me to have a baby even though I still don't want children. Any advice on what I should do?

Dr. Cotsen: This is a difficult situation and you might want to meet with a couples therapist to discuss this in more depth. It's always difficult when somebody changes their mind about an agreement made at the beginning of a relationship. This situation is even more thorny, because your husband has changed his mind with respect to a decision that will most probably affect your life even more than his. That is because you are the one who will be pregnant, and most likely, you will end up being the primary caretaker for any child that the two of you have. Nonetheless, if your husband has developed very strong feelings about this issue, he may be tempted to leave the relationship, and therefore, this issue should be handled very carefully between the two of you. I'd be happy to meet with both of you for couples therapy if you're interested. Best of luck.

Smita: Could Trey's problems in bed have anything to do with his relationship with his mother?

Dr. Cotsen: Well, they certainly could. As we know, he doesn't have the healthiest relationship in the world with his mother.alrighty!. The emotional causes of erectile dysfunction can include things such as depression, performance anxiety, or mixed feelings about one's partner. In Trey's case, he could have mixed feelings about Charlotte, or perhaps about all women, because he may deep down resent the way his mother has been able to manipulate him (and we all saw how Charlotte was able to learn to do this herself). Other emotional causes of erectile dysfunction may include latent homosexuality--that is, lack of excitement for having sex with a woman. Other causes may include preference for, or dependence on, certain sexual turn-ons such as pornography or various fetishes (sex toys). In fact, it looks like, from our views of next episode, that Trey's problem may turn out to be an "addiction" to pornography. Tune in next week!

MommaFerret: Rather than run from his problem, shouldn't Trey be looking for ways to please his new wife?

Dr. Cotsen: Well, yes! Absolutely! He certainly should, and it seems that Charlotte will only be pleased when she gets to experience and enjoy Trey's erection. (Not that there aren't plenty of other pleasant things to do together in bed.) Nevertheless, we get the sense that certainly Charlotte, and no doubt Trey also, would be a lot happier if they could find a way for him to be less afraid of coming to bed with her and able to relax, get an erection, and enjoy a happy, healthy, horny life together! I hope you all enjoyed tonight's show. Thank you for your very thoughtful questions. Please tune in next week for Shrink Talk following "Sex And The City."

HBO: Well, tonight's session is over. Thanks for participating and be sure to join us next Wednesday at 9:30 PM PT to discuss "Sex and the City." In the meantime, you can continue the discussions in the "Sex and the City" chat room or bulletin boards hbo.com/city/cmp/community.html Plus, get the latest on the "Sex and the City" website at www.hbo.com/city This has been a production of hbo.com and Talk City, Inc. Copyright 2000. All rights reserved.

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