LiveWorld Transcripts

HBO presents

Dr. Adam Cotsen
"Sex and the City"-Shrink Talk

September 27, 2000

Dr. Cotsen answers your questions about sex, relationships, and dating in relation to the latest episode of HBO’s “Sex and the City.”

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HBO: Welcome to Shrink Talk! Did this week's episode bring up some familiar issues for you? Dr. Adam Cotsen is live, ready to field your questions about relationships, sex and dating.

Josephina: Charlotte and Trey's new sex therapist recommended they name their genitalia. Is that an effective way to stimulate openness about sex?

Dr. Adam Cotsen: Josephina, I'm so glad that you asked this question because this is the topic that I was dying to talk about. For Charlotte and Trey, it was really important that they find a way that they could comfortably talk about their genitals and how their bodies felt while they contemplated having sex. Clearly, two people can't get anywhere on an issue if they can't find words that they can both agree on and are comfortable with. So, I thought the TV therapist's suggestion was really quite helpful. I'd like to know what names people in our chat room would use to describe their genitalia if they were in the same situation as Trey and Charlotte. If we get enough answers, maybe I will give an answer myself.

Maria: If Trey is masturbating to porn mags and not having sex with Charlotte, does that mean that Charlotte doesn't do it for him?

Dr. Adam Cotsen: Yes and no. But mostly no, she doesn't do it for him. But then again, neither have most, if not all, of his previous girlfriends. This is a fact that he alluded to a couple of episodes ago. So, although just plain being in bed with the quite lovely Charlotte does not do it for Trey, it certainly is not in any way her fault or a sign that she is unattractive. Clearly right now, the only thing that 'does it' for Trey are his porn magazines. Fortunately, there is at least SOMETHING that does it for Trey. And we will have to see if Charlotte can comfortably become part of that 'something'. By 'something' I don't mean simply porn mags, but the erotic themes or images portrayed in the particular porn mags that Trey enjoys.

Christopher: What do you think of Charlotte's technique of taping her photograph into Trey's porn magazines?

Dr. Adam Cotsen: In a word.CREATIVE! Charlotte is, in effect, using the behavioral techniques of Pavlov in order to build an association between her face and Trey's getting excited to the point of erection. Or, more directly, building an association between Charlotte as a person and images that Trey finds compellingly exciting. Pavlov would ring a bell every time dogs were brought fresh dishes of food. Pretty soon, those dogs were ready to salivate merely at the sound of the bell. Let's hope that pretty soon, when Trey sees Charlotte in bed, he'll go "bow, wow, wow, wow!"

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