Virtual Life Coach Jeff Power

April 25, 2001

Jeff Power answers questions to help you achieve balance in your life.

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Houston Chronicle: The information discussed today is provided for information purposes only. If professional services or other expert assistance is required, the services of a professional should be sought. Welcome to Achieving Balance in Life. HoustonChronicle.com is proud to present a discussion with Virtual Life Coach Jeffrey Power. Send in your questions now!

Jeff Power: Welcome! I'm really looking forward to assisting as much as I can this evening. Thanks for allowing me to be here!

The Wiz: What is a Virtual Life Coach?

Jeff Power: Great question to kick the evening off with! A Life Coach is someone to help people get an understanding of what is working and not working in their lives, and how they can make changes to make them happier, more productive, successful, and the 'virtual' commentates that we are in cyberspace.

Power: What is your educational background, and what lead you to this field of work?

Jeff Power: My educational background is a bachelor's degree in psychology, with a minor in education, a master's degree in guidance and counseling, with emphasis on marriage counseling and group dynamics, with a second master's degree in family dynamics and adolescent development, with emphasis on interpersonal communications and human sexuality, with additional graduate work in vocational rehabilitation counseling and child psychology. And that's enough, thank you, on education! I realized through my own personal growth processes that my divine gifts were all in the area of being a truth facilitator for other people's achieving their dreams.

Comic Shop: What is stress?

Jeff Power: Not all stress falls into one category. In the mental health field, we talk about dis-stress and eu-stress. Eu-stress is that level of challenge or demand, which motivates, excites, and helps us to learn to grow, to be productive, and all in all, serves us. Dis-stress is when we get stuck in things like worry, anxiety, tension, depression, and stress, as in 'stressed out'. Our experience of stress is directly related to our ability to minimize the negative impact of our life demands, while achieving what we believe to be the best possible outcome for each situation we deal with. In other words, we create almost all of our stressful experiences when we don't see ourselves handling life's demands successfully. Stress also results when we have expectations that are not realized. Bottom line--stress is created by some event, circumstance, happening, issue, or person, plus our perception of that event and our ability to successfully handle it.

Comet: How do I know if I'm stressed out?

Jeff Power: These are some of the symptoms of stress. Does everything seem like a priority to you? Do you have trouble saying 'no' to requests that overextend you? Do you tend to be continually unrealistic about what can be accomplished in a particular day? Do you have trouble sleeping? Do you have difficulty relaxing? Do you tend to eat either a lot of junk food or miss a lot of meals? Do you feel 'blah', as in loss of zest for living? Do you feel you're on a never-ending treadmill?

Rack Shaw: My doctor says my blood pressure is high, and he attributes it to stress. He says to try and relax. Do you have any suggestions on how to manage stress in my personal and professional life?

Jeff Power: Yes, I do. First, I want to address what people can do about high blood pressure to control it non-medically. People with high blood pressure should typically increase their healthy fluid intake, eat more fruits and vegetables, and get more physical activity in their lives, which can be just brisk walking with deep breathing--it doesn't mean having to go to the gym. Connect each morning with life. Examples of this--and this should be done within the first half hour of getting up--are things like prayer, meditation, stretching, reading something inspirational, profound or funny, spending time with a pet (interacting with that pet, not just caring for it), interacting with your full attention with another human being, or doing something else that connects you with either something living (like a plant, animal, or person) or that connects you with ideas that make you feel happy, excited, and interested. The real question is not how to manage stress, but rather, how to manage your life so that you don't experience undue stress. The best way to manage your life is to invest time and effort on a regular basis in the five key areas that every human being needs to attend to in order to achieve well-being. The five key areas are developing your bio-computer, which is more than just your mind and intellect, but the ability to problem-solve, set and achieve goals, etc. The second key area is to recharge your emotional battery, because we all experience hurt and disappointment. People may lie to us, and they may hurt us. They may unintentionally or intentionally do this. We must recharge our emotional batteries. Here are some examples. Really listen and connect to music that inspires you. Revitalize yourself around some aspect of nature. Nourish yourself through all five senses--that is, the gift of sight. Look at things, whether people, pictures, whatever, but look at them, and really enjoy the colors or textures. Use hearing for music or running water. Smell, taste, and, of course, touch. Maybe consider going for a massage once a month. All of us are very, very busy; however, if you take an extra few minutes, if you go to savor a meal, enjoy the tastes, and take the nourishment in sensually, not just for the body. And one of the most powerful ways to recharge your emotional battery is to be engaged in creative self-expression--a hobby, interest, or activity that you really connect with--you enjoy! You feel it is a part of who you are, or a statement about who you are. The third area is physical. We have a body that has needs. Attend to your physical needs, such as adequate sleep, rest, physical activity, nutrition, regular medical, dental, eye exams, etc. Take good vitamin/mineral supplements. The fourth area is the interactive key, which says we are not alone. One of the strongest human needs is the need for us to feel that someone either cares about us, understands us, or values us. We need, in one way or another, the regard of other people. I know you all have heard about the importance of having a support system, but this is much more than that. This is really connecting with other people, and it allows us to improve our communication skills. It's our ability to express our thoughts, our feelings, and even more importantly, enhances our listening ability, so that we can read other people very accurately and quickly. The interactive also stimulates our creativity, while we learn more about life, others, and ourselves. By the way, when we are listened 'to', and I mean really listened to, it helps us create ourselves by enabling us to unfold, and we expand as we let others in. The fifth key area is the spiritual. This applies whether you believe in a divine being or not. If you believe in a divine entity or God, things like prayer, religious services, or a fellowship group would apply. And whether you believe in a divine being or not, this area includes addressing seriously some of the biggest questions in life. Actually, there are only two really important questions in life. Number one, who do I, as a person, most want to be in my mind's eye when I see me at my full, full potential? Who am I? Number two, what do I most want to do with my life force while I am here on planet Earth? What is most important for me to do while I am here? Obviously, these questions need to be addressed, and pieces of the answer are discovered on a regular basis over our lifetime. Neither of these two questions will ever be 100% answered (thank God!), but as we gather the pieces of the puzzle, we're able to more clearly see what purpose, direction, or meaning our life has.

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