Online Relationships Do's and Don'ts

June 01, 2000

Can you truly fall in love online? What do you do when he turns out to be a lying, married sociopath? Get advice from online dating expert, and avid chatter, Dr. Doug Bourdon, who shares all he knows about online relationships.

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SocialNet: Welcome to "Online Dating Do's and Don'ts." Interested in how to start or manage a relationship with someone you've met online? This is your chance to get answers from someone who's been there and knows how to make it work! Get your questions ready for Dr. Doug Bourdon, an online dating expert from EXP.com. Welcome, Dr. Doug!

Dr. Doug: Hello, how are you this evening?

AuggieDawgie2: Dr. Doug, have you ever been in an online relationship or know of anyone who has? If so, what was the outcome?

Dr. Doug: I have had several online relationships. A majority of them were successful, in at least becoming friends. A few were disasters.

Melinda: Do you think that online dating is a good idea if there is a lot of distance between the two people?

Dr. Doug: If by 'distance' you mean geography, I don't believe that should have a bearing. Online dating is probably one of the safest ways ever devised to meet someone, particularly through organizations like SocialNet.com

AuggieDawgie2: Dr. Doug, do you think online relationships last as long as relationships started in close proximity?

Dr. Doug: Sometimes the greater the distance, the stronger the bond. And as a result, those types of relationships can, and do, last a long time.

MichealXX: I have had a few online relationships and keep getting my heart broken. Do you have any advice on how to make these things last?

Dr. Doug: One reason why a person gets their heart broken is because they expose too much of themselves too quickly. We all have a desire for companionship, and many people online are very lonely. But we must never lose sight of the fact that our emotional self-preservation should remain our highest priority when we are getting involved, and in an online relationship.

Athos: What things should you look for to make sure your online date is being honest?

Dr. Doug: There probably are about twenty different things that I could list for you right now, but for now, I will list a few. One, watch their online habits. In other words, do they only talk to you nine to five? Two, see how willing they are to talk about what type of job they have. What do they do in their job? What types of hours do they work? Three, be very leery of people who cannot talk to you over the weekend. That indicates family obligations, where he or she might have said they were not married.

Athos: What kinds of people are best for online relationships?

Dr. Doug: There is no category of person that is best for an online relationship. The demographics today indicate that the internet is comprised about fifty-fifty men and women. Therefore, the internet is made up of a wide variety of people; a variety that you would find in almost any kind of social gathering.

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