Author of "She's having a Baby, and I'm having a Breakdown"

August 2, 1999

William Morrow Books presents BookSpeak with James Douglas Barron, author of the book "She Had A Baby And I'm Having A Meltdown" who discusses fatherhood, babies, being a husband, and pregnancy.

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BookSpeak: Welcome to BookSpeak! William Morrow Books and The Talk City Network are proud to present our special guest for tonight, .James Barron. author of "She Had A Baby And I'm Having A Meltdown" With a healthy dose of humor, James Barron draws on his experience, the experiences of others, and insights from mothers on what they think new fathers should know to balance the demands of being a good father and a good husband, from the infant through the toddler years. James, welcome to Talk City!

James Barron: Thank you very much. I'm happy to be here, this is my first time and I am excited.

MysteryGirl: When did you first decide to write this book and how come there are no other books out there for guys?

James Barron: This book grew out of my first book, which was "She's having a Baby, and I'm having a Breakdown". There was a scene that happened to my wife and me, which I think happens all over the country to millions of men. She was 8 months pregnant and there was this beautiful round belly which I could see through the sheets, and piles and piles of books she had bought on pregnancy. She turned to me and said, "How come you aren't reading these books?" I found these books utterly impossible to read, as do almost all men. They could scare me away with one term like "Mucous plug". No man wants to hear his wife has mucous plug because it is an utterly disgusting term. I wanted to write a book that would convey the information in a fun mood. With "She's Had a Baby and I'm Having a Meltdown", we came home from the hospital and I realized I knew absolutely nothing about taking care of a baby. Not only that but I wanted to know how you have fun with childhood, and how to juggle work and responsibilities. And last but certainly not least, I wanted to know how you keep the zip in your marriage once you have had a baby. My wife's books addressed none of those issues.

Rogherio: Would you suggest that dads take "maternity leave" after the baby is born so they can help out? Or is it better not to and do it some other time?

James Barron: Rogherio: It depends on the relationship. In my case, I cut back on work so I could come home much earlier to give my wife a break. However, I am my own boss and America has not caught up with the vast changes in fatherhood today. For that matter, maternity leave is often termed "disability" on insurance forms. It is ludicrous - having a child is NOT a disability. But it is extremely taxing on both parents. What is most important is how a new father comes home from work. He must convey his appreciation of his wife's house and mothering work. If there is an inkling of superiority about his work, he's in for a very long night. Better to say to your wife, "Your turn to chill, I'm taking the baby out into the world." And if you want to be a real hero, pour your wife a bath. You get adventure, you bond with the baby, and your wife gets a well-deserved break.

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