LiveWorld Transcripts

Borders.com presents

Tina S. Flaherty
Author of "Talk Your Way to the Top"

March 29, 1999

Tina S. Flaherty, author of "Talk Your Way to the Top," which emphasizes the significant role of communication in achieving professional success. Dubbed "America's top corporate woman," Flaherty talks about effective methods of speaking and presenting oneself as a winner, and different ways in which men and women communicate.

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CCCheer: Welcome to NetCafeLive, where we host authors and celebrities throughout the month. Thanks for joining us! Borders NetCafeLive is a joint production of Borders.com(tm) and Talk City(tm), a Talk City, Inc. Production. Tonight's guest is Tina S. Flaherty, here to talk about her book "Talk Your Way to the Top." Tina S. Flaherty has been a Vice President at Colgate-Palmolive, GTE and Grey Advertising. Described by Business Week as America's top corporate woman, she has shared her skills in her well-acclaimed book, "The Savvy Woman's Success Bible." "Talk Your Way to the Top" is her latest book and it talks about communication on a practical level. Borders.com and Talkcity.com are pleased to welcome tonight's guest, Tina S. Flaherty. Welcome to Talk City, Tina; it's great to have you with us. Could you tell us about the book "Talk Your Way to the Top"?

Tina Santi Flaherty: Yes! The book "Talk Your Way to the Top" is designed to help anyone, male or female, to maximize their communications potential. It covers everything from making a meeting work for you, to talking like a man/ thinking like a woman, to making a fool of yourself in public. It also stresses how to use body language to get your message across. It tells you how to give a successful speech, and how to socialize in business situations. It tells you things that you'll never learn in business school.that a boss won't take you aside and discuss with you. It gives you the basics. Success isn't about brain surgery - it's about paying attention to the basics. For example, packaging yourself - not everyone pays enough attention to it. People don't know that color has a psychology all its own, or that body language tells more about you more than the words than you speak. You can have the look of a leader, or the look of a loser. The book, particularly in this chapter, tells you how to develop an executive image. If your image isn't up to par, you'll never get hired in the first place. A lot of beginners don't realize that every company has its own culture, particularly how people should dress. A shirt and tie in one place, or blue jeans in another. You've got to dress not to suit yourself, but the culture of the company. One important channel of communication is how you conduct yourself in a meeting--a staff meeting, board meeting, or whatever. Do you take a seat of power, which is nearby to whoever is conducting the meeting? Do you share your ideas early on, before everything is hashed out and you'll be viewed as not having any original thoughts? Do you shoot yourself in the foot by saying that "This is probably a dumb idea."? Apologizing too much in meetings won't get you anyplace. Another channel of communication is your speech. For women, talk like a man and think like a woman. The language of business is male-speak - men have been there longer - so it's their talk that prevails. Men use the "would" word rather than the "could" word. A man might likely say "Would you have that report ready by next Friday?" 'Would' is a directive. Whereas a woman would say "Could you have that report ready by Friday?" which is a polite form; it implies that you have a choice. Also, women (much more so than men) tend to discount their ideas. They denigrate their thoughts by starting off with a disclaimer, "This may sound dumb" or "I don't know if this makes any sense, but…." Women more than men have been trained as verbal geishas. They've been taught that it's their responsibility to be the "hostess with the mostest" - to keep the conversation moving and to fill in the silence. This can be deadly at a meeting! If you feel you have to speak, and you don't really have anything solid to say, you can come up looking very foolish. Men learned long ago that it's better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.

CCCheer: Thanks Tina. You are one of the most successful people in the corporate world, and your tips are the best things that can happen to young executives looking for success. How did you get an inspiration to write the book?

Tina Santi Flaherty: My inspiration is my experience. I want to share what I've learned. I don't want everybody to make the same mistakes that I've made. My inspiration was really my desire to teach.

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